A Brief (adapted) Introduction:

I decided to start this blog to commemorate the one-year anniversary of my injury

on (08/26/23). This was not a decision I made without heavy contemplation… or because I have finally healed from my accident… which is far from reality! But rather, because I have learned over the past year that it is far easier and far more therapeutic to share my experience with others, in the safe harbors of community, than it is to allow my frustrations surrounding this injury to consume my mind. If you are reading this paragraph now… it is likely because you know me well. Or perhaps you have at least heard of my situation from reading a previous post. Or maybe you have just heard my story through the grapevine. In other words: You know a guy, who knows a guy, who knows “@theguywiththeSCI.” Whichever the case may be… the aim of this blog is to shine a light on what it is like to live with an SCI (Spinal Cord Injury) and provide a new perspective into this new life I “inherited.” Much of it will delve into aspects of this injury that are rarely discussed. It will highlight some of the joys and successes I have experienced and continue to experience everyday! (Not everything in this unraveling story is melancholy, after-all!) It will also underline many of the challenges I face daily… and by proxy… some of the even harder challenges many other’s face with more complex SCI’s. My hope in the entirety of this prose I present to you is to bring more awareness to the disabled community that surrounds us everyday. A community that I myself am guilty of not having dedicated enough time or thought to in my “previous life.” (I stress the words: “inherited” and “previous life” with great deliberation above… as I truly feel as if I were born into an entirely new world… One with a new set of rules and parameters dictating my reality.) 

To my point… sharing that “reality” will be conveyed (via this blog) through the light of one prism (my disability). But even if I somehow, miraculously, conjured the abilities of Henry W. Longfellow and found a way to eloquently write with colorful-clarity about my experience with an SCI, very few will truly understand what it is like living with that reality. (Not without, heaven-forbid-it a million times over, experiencing it for themselves!) Nor would I ever fault someone for not understanding, either… which is a common sentiment I am offered everyday! 

*I myself had never put a single thought into life as a paraplegic until I became one!*

As human-beings we listen, we acknowledge, and then we try to find ways our own experiences relate to something we’re shown. This is an innately human-trait; developed through centuries of evolution to help facilitate the passing of knowledge. But a Spinal Cord Injury is a very challenging thing to relate to. There is nothing tangible to accurately compare it to… which makes it sort of an enigma. However,  it is safe to assume that by reading this far… or that by simply knowing me… you may already have a general understanding of what a Spinal Cord Injury (SCI) is. (If you don’t yet, there’s no need to feel left out! I will be sharing all the details as well as plenty of studies and science to catch you up!) It will be my hope, moving forward, to share what it is truly like living in this new reality along with all of the details regarding SCI's and experiences in the disabled community! This blog will document my progress and the tasks that I attempt to "re-learn." My hope is to capture that progress to help others who may suffer this fate and give them a road-map to regain their lives. It will also be my goal to do this well enough so you can personally relate to it as well!

Across Middle-Earth & on to Mordor!

My wife Nicole was teasing me for watching, yet again, the Fellowship of The Ring. To be quite honest, I wasn’t exactly sure why I was watching it again, either! That is at least, I didn’t quite understand until the following day when I was mulling over the deeper plot of the story. Here we have a seemingly “lone-hero,” Frodo, who is perfectly willing to uproot his safe and comfortable life to pursue an insurmountable task: By bringing the "The One Ring" to its final resting place (and ultimate extinction) in Mordor. Although initially fully committed to journey alone, Frodo finds himself supported by an alliance of his friends & comrades: Gandalf, Legolas, Gimli, Aragorn, Boromir, Sam, Merry & Pippin… and so a Fellowship is born! For the sake of my wife’s sanity, as well as your own, I will spare the retelling of the tale! But I realized in that moment, after deeply reflecting on it, that the reason I found so much comfort in revisiting this story was because it reminded me of my experience after first learning about my SCI (Spinal Cord Injury) and the damaged condition I was in.

The feeling of being stuck in a hospital bed, unable to move, is an utterly terrifying and lonely experience. The weight of the world was on my shoulders and the tremendous amount of guilt I had for injuring myself was unbearable. How could I have put myself in this predicament!? The fear and isolation that overcame me was something I had never (yet) experienced. (In a very similar way that the ring impacts Frodo.) My SCI was "The One Ring" and with it came a tremendous burden. But, just as it was with the transpiring fellowship, one by one I had friends and family that swore to the journey with me and committed to being by my side for the long-road towards recovery. Each day I would experience that same debilitating fear and overwhelming guilt… burning deep into my chest as the ring would unto Frodo’s. Yet each day someone would visit or reach out to me to help me regain my strength. Each day one of you would post words of encouragement on my status, or donate some financial support to my go-fund-me page. Each day someone brought me something better than hospital food to eat. (Which for the sake of this analogy, was not much better than Elven Lembas bread.) The point is, I quickly understood then… as I still do everyday… that there was no… ZERO… road to recovery without the support of my own “Fellowship.” Since exactly one year ago, that support has grown from immediate friends and family, to a network of nurses, physical & occupational therapists, online communities, and fellow SCI survivors from Maine to California. I quickly learned one year ago that to reach my goal of “recovery,” just like reaching Mordor, I would need the support of those around me along for the journey. For the first time in my life, I would need to learn how to ask for help. I would also need to demonstrate strength and resolve to maintain my fellowship. Without it I was a goner, plain and simple. Reflecting on this past year, if someone were to ask me what the MOST vital part of therapy is for long-term recovery, my unequivocal answer would be simple: forming a fellowship. 

But before this blog enters the plains of Middle-Earth…  before it descends into the realms of interesting science and bizarre facts surrounding SCI's. Before engaging the fortified resistance I experience daily; With all the challenges I practice to regain my strength; And certainly before I begin to tell my tale of what many of these crazy adventures have taught me, and continue to teach me everyday;I want to first make it abundantly clear that I would not be where I am today without YOU… My Fellowship. So from the bottom of my heart, thank you for your unbridled support! I would not be where I am today without it!  I hope this blog will interest you…  and entertain you… while helping shed light on what it is like to be living disabled. (With any luck, I can do this without any further Lord Of The Ring references!)

A Thanks to My Fellowship:

• My wife: Nicole, (As well as my dog & cat, Penny & Carmelo.)

• My family: Dad, Mom, Julie & Tim. Talia, Megan, Danny, Maggie, Emma, Liam.

Dave & Carol, Anik & Chris, Dick & Barb, Lisa & Craig, Ken, Kyle & Jennifer, Nick, 

Stephanie, Annie, Andy, Cayden, Sophie.

• Countless Friends (Also Family): Patric, Mark, Laureen, Ann, Elliot & Laura, Alden & Allie, Addie & Colin, Pam, Mark, Wyatt, Brandon & Leah, Sam & Chelsea, Bonnie, Bill, Colin & Shawna, Andre, Andrew, Kay, Ben, Nate, Brian, Mike, Jimmy, Ronnie & Ruth, Reuben & Rachel, Jeff & Liv, Will & Julia, & all of Beta Xi (This list is never-ending…its seriously long!) 

• Maine Medical Nurses & CNAs (R6)

Mallory, Michaela, Jackie, Sherida, Dwayne, Lilly, Coral, Tina, Jalath, Lindsey, Andrew.

• Maine Medical Nurses & CNAs (R5)

Seth, Caitlin, Emilly, Leah, Nakai, Habon, Ginny, Missy, Reem, Christin, Kelsey, Nikki, Jolie, Chanterelle, Mariah, Morgan. 

• Maine Medical Transport:

Neal, Anthony, Kelley, Scott, Greg, Mack.

• Maine Medical X-Ray:

Rich Smith, Rich, Stephan, Joel, Ascher, Greta

• Maine Medical PT/ OT (Special Thanks!)

Ethan & Olivia

• Maine Medical PA

Anita & Jane

• Maine Medical Doctors

(Dr.) Savadove, Cheng, Jordan, Sheppard, Alexander.

• Maine Medical Room-mates

Abdi, Brian & Bryan

• Spaulding Team:

Jenna, Thary, Lexi, Nino, Jill, Meg, Chrisi, Kristen, Lisa, Theresa, Dr. O’Connor, Donna, & many, many more!

• Rehab Without Walls

Kacey, Christine, Kirsten, Tatianna, Courtney, Rachael.

• & Special thanks to:

Ken & Ginny & Ed Colburn,  Alan Bradley 

• & Many more!!